197 Reasons to Do Something Scary.

​Wow. Look what we did together.
Together, we raised $197 for Breast Cancer research! Thank you all so much for helping me!!

It was really fun posting these videos. But the truth is, it was also really ...scary.

Honestly, it's really scary to put myself out there. I’m a little nervous posting ALL of my videos. Especially with a small fan base, I really get scared that people are going to judge me. Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, dare I say it, people from high school…I’m always scared people will think I’m craving attention, seeming fake, or being just plain weird. It’s hard being an artist sometimes because the whole world wants to judge you.

But this video series was particularly scary. What if no one contributes? What if after annoying all of my followers with posts all month long about a topic they might not care for, no one even donates. Then, I’ll have to get on camera and say, “Great job everyone! We raised 1 dollar and 72 cents!”

My cheeks burn red every day. I’m constantly embarrassed and worried that I’m a freak or a weirdo. But the truth is, I think this is what I’m stuck with. I’ve tried to not be me and to fit in. And you know what? I really don’t think I’m capable. It takes a lot of energy to stamp yourself out every day, and I just don’t have the stamina. I guess this weirdo-ness and obnoxious self is what I’m stuck with.

So I posted the videos. Even if it meant I might embarrass myself or look stupid.

Because gosh darn it…I just can’t help it. And screw it. I want to fight Breast Cancer. So if my only weapon is 1 dollar and 72 cents…I’m still rushing into battle wielding it.

And so I just did it.
And then…
I was overwhelmed by the people donating! I was shocked to see names I never would have guessed popping up on my venmo and paypal. I was shocked to see a name I didn’t even recognize. I was shocked by the kindness of human beings.

Sure, a lot of people probably rolled their eyes at my videos. But you know what? I know deep inside myself that I did something good, and I accomplished something scary. I didn’t back down despite intense fear of judgement. I want to encourage everyone I meet to do what they want to do and do what is right even if it’s a little scary. So I best strap myself in and live my own advice.

Sometimes, people will roll their eyes. But it’s worth it. Because sometimes, you raise nearly $200 for a cause you believe in.

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